Mismanaged anger is destructive towards other people and to me as a person. Managed anger, on one hand, is self-healing.
This is what I have learned after an outburst of anger or let’s says impatience.
I was uploading an article for my blog yesterday through my phone. I started uploading it around 8 am in the morning.
So, I waited.
But, it was already 8:30 pm of the evening and nothing has been uploaded. The whole day I kept on pressing the button “try again” trying to be patient. Until I came to my tipping point, I picked my phone, put it on my palm and hold it like crumpling a piece of paper. I heard a “tick” sound and realized that my phone has been broken by me.
Anger doesn’t excuse anyone. There will be time that you cannot contain your emotions and you simply tip off. Its either you throw tangible things you picked around you or you shout at persons you are angry with. Anger moment could happen anytime, anywhere. The question is, “How are you going to manage anger?”
Recalling my past experiences of my anger moment and people who happened to get angry with me, here are some tips that have helped me manage my anger.
- Stop Look and Listen. Just like driving a car, you have to be aware of the traffic signs ahead. This signs will teach you to stop when you are angry. Do not talk, speak, stare nor throw anything when you are in the height of anger. It reminds you to look around and to yourself of how you are behaving. Look at yourself and ask, “Am I acting professionally?” It calms you to listen to people. Isn’t it that there are several crimes committed by people while driving? Anger drives them nuts and no one knows humility when anger strikes. It is like the holes of their ears have earplugs that prevent them from hearing each other rationally.
- Become aware of the reason. Ask yourself, “Why am I angry?” By doing that, it helps you become aware of the very reason of your anger. It also helps you pacify yourself and think rationally. This can be a chance to consider understanding the point of the person you are angry at. There are instances that what we think we have the right to be angry but we are simply overreacting on certain issues.
- Speak: clear, firm and straight. We are sociable beings and speaking is our nature. We communicate. We dialog to each other. Often, it is just a matter of expressing yourself clearly towards other people of your point that understanding can be achieved. There is no need to shout. Shouting is not speaking, by the way. Speak the reason of your anger directly towards the person. And not to those who are not involved in the matter, it will incinerate more to the fire if you do otherwise.
- Get to the heart/Recognize your emotion. Anger is all about emotions and your heart is a key part of your body. Express you feeling. Cry if you want. Embrace. Until your heart is satisfy and empty of that hatred within you. It is health beneficial especially to those who have heart problems. So, when your angry, put your palm over your chest and say, “All is well.” Take breath-in and breath-out several times until you are calm.
- Walk around the room. When I am very angry and I feel my body is very hot. I walk around the room to release the stress I am feeling and the boost of energy that my body is creating. It is also a way of diverting your energy from anger to walking. Two benefits, you are calming down and you have your unplanned exercise. But, do not talk or speak.
- Ask a friend or an officemate to make jokes/ Find a friend that by looking at his or her face you will laugh or could help you forget your anger. I always prove it effective that a little amount of happy thoughts/feelings can crash an entire army of angry emotions.
There you go.
Managing your anger is up to you. A simple breath-in and breath-out could work for you or maybe a friend who can easily make you laugh and help you forgets your anger. In which ways, do not let anger control you.