The Philippines is a fast growing population. However, inclusive on that numbers are the 14 millions of solo parents out of the total population of the country’s 94 million in 2007. And this year, it is expected by the National Philippines Statistics to grow to a total of 20 million solo parents.
To be a single parent is a truthful condition of so many women who have to be admired for their courage to raise their children amidst the difficulties they face.
I had a friend who had been a single mom for 17 years and was able to raise her two children with good discipline and positive outlook in life. Her name is Gee. I think there are a lot of things we can learn from people like her. We only need to listen to their life stories.
She got pregnant with her first child at the age of 22. A thought of finally finding her true prince charming but has been destroyed for the man left her. She then focused her life of racing the child. After 10 years, she again found another man to love, that love created another child. The child will be the second. But, unlike fairy tales it has not ended with the line “they live happily ever after.”
Well, maybe the right person has not come yet to her side to stay forever with her.
What are the most difficult experiences as a single mother?
She shared that it was difficult for her on having a regular income at those days. Financial stability was one of the difficulties she had to experience. Her mind was divided between her work and taking care for the child. To consider also that all the worked offered to her are all to be assigned to a far places. She could not imagine living her child.
To be a mother and a father at the same time, wow, one has to be a superhero. It is astonishing to know a person that can handle a double faced role. This was the difficult for her to act as a mother and a father at the same time. She has to delegate her daughter to act as a mother and she will act as a father.
Lastly, she experience difficulty on managing her time. As a single woman, mother and a worker, there are so many various demands that ask from these roles. Dividing your time is indeed difficult. But, maybe at the long run one will be used to it.
Thus, she shared 5 tips on how to survive as a single parent based on her experience.
Positive life perspective. She said that no matter how difficult her situation being a single mother, she had to see life positively. She had to avoid thinking to herself as a failure. Rather, she had to view her life as a new challenge to overcome and succeed. It is a chance of turning a difficulty into an opportunity in life. And, see your children as precious gifts from God. Do not imprison yourself in the room. Live life. Be sociable because we cannot rewind what happens. But, we can play life for it offers magnificent surprises that mold you to a courageous and stronger person.
Make your children your inspiration and your center. A newbie as a single parent often would have a feeling of frustrations and anger that sometimes is channeled towards the child or their children. She said that if you will not make you children your inspiration, then, who will? Making your children the focus of your life is teaching molding your child to live and feel loved and important.
Have a strong family support. Strong family ties are very essential to help you go through all the hardships and difficulties you face in life. You are assured that one of your family members either you mother, father, brother, sister or a friend can be there with you at all time. They are also the persons who can give you advices are your life and might help you keep on going.
Consider tight budgeting. This is a very practical tip. Sometimes, single women still think they are single with no child to feed. Be wise in spending and prioritize what is necessary for you and for your child.
Do find quality time for yourself. With all the stress and frustrations, releasing them is important for survival. Sometimes you have your quality time for yourself. Here we are not saying that you forget your children and your quality time for them. We are speaking of yourself because you cannot deny you also feel how to be tired. Unwind and free your mind with all the worries by going to beach, travel abroad, watch movie, go to a massage or go to a parlor. Reward yourself for being a SUPERMOM.
To be a single parent is not easy but fulfilling.