Why remain and not just leave?

Why remain and not just leave

Let’s face it. Life is not a magical story of a fairy tale which we see on televisions. I am not a prince charming nor you are sleeping beauty waiting for the kiss of a true love. Truth is we are born through pain.

Yet, this does not mean we become pessimistic on life neither in its entirety.

You see, we are often aggressive especially when we experience relationships failures. This affects our decision-making that leads to quarrel, shattered friendship or to its worst-separation, divorce or annulment for married couples.

Why remain and not just leave?

It is a logical question. However, I can put it this way, “Why leave and not remain?”

Are you afraid of facing the pain and truth? Are you afraid of admitting in yourself that you had a part on what’s happening in your life? Are you afraid of yourself?

Turning our back to our life hardships or relationships failures is always not the answer. Turning our back is not making space to think; it is creating emptiness in our hearts letting anger or hatred control us. Turning our back is not seeking peace; it is rather consenting to our ego who wants revenge. Turning our back does not answer our heartaches and pains; it rather produces more unanswered questions.

A relative of mine happened to eat with me in the table. We talked about how the married life of her son has been put into crisis. She asked me, “What will I do? Will I continue my plan on leaving my son and letting him feel how difficult it is to have no one to depend on or will ever support?”

I told her to remain. Her son needed her much more than ever at these times.

You’ll see, no matter how fast are we from running away to our problems, eventually, we become tired and have to face that problem. When it comes, we realize that we have less time to amend our failures.

To remain means to have a listening heart. Sometimes, in a relationship either in married life or in friendships communication is important. But, not just a simple communication, it is a compassionate communication.

To remain means you are there ready to be present and be depended in whatever way could be. Remember how married couples vowed to love each other in good times and bad time; for bitter and for worst. Friendships stay long because they remain in goodness and bitterness of their life experiences. Two is always better than one.

Is  it not by remaining we are enabled to see who is our priority? It is giving importance. Gaps in whatever or whichever relationship you are into happens because we give less importance to each other. We forget the importance of the other in our life.  Loving is basically giving importance to the person you love.

So, “Why leave and not remain?”

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Get Direction! How to use Spiritual Quotient in a Technological World

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Let’s face it. We have all met people who are emotionally intelligent; who can recognize, understand and influence others emotions. Not just amazingly smart but do have self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy and excellent social skills.

For sure, you knew someone and can name several in your workplace.

But, haven’t you notice, there were emotionally intelligent people leading in their field of work that lost direction?

Like the manager you look up because of how he manage the team to develop, be competitive and work together, lost meaning of what his doing for all his life?

Actors who have been great inspiration to others life, with great work, with good millions of income, good relationship suddenly commits suicide.

Meaning. Direction. Purpose.

It seems that there is a missing piece of a puzzle.

A missing piece of intelligence “with which we heal ourselves and make ourselves whole again”, we call it SPIRITUAL QUOTIENT or SPIRITUAL INTELLEGENCE.

What is Spiritual Intelligence?

It was Danah Zohar who coined the term “spiritual intelligence” and introduced the idea to her book. Steven Covey also speaks of Spiritual Intelligence as “the central and most fundamental intelligences, because it becomes the source of guidance for the others.”

Spiritual Intelligence is an ability to access higher meanings, values, abiding purposes and unconscious aspects of the self and to embed these meaning, values, and purpose in living a richer and more creative life.

It is having a visionary leader.

The likes of Churchill, Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King, Jr., and Mother Teresa are the few names and persona who’s secret in their life and leadership was their ability to inspire people and give them sense of something worth to struggle for.

Why Spiritual Quotient matters?

In a world were technological advancement, materialism, narrow self-centeredness, lack of meaning and less committed, we become spiritually dumb.

Just by hearing the word “spiritual”, we become irritated and we relate it immediately with religion. But, it is not, because with or without the presence of religion we are spiritual beings. We are beings who seek for a direction in life, who has the capacity to heal ourselves of all the resentment, capable of finding meaning in our experiences and see ourselves as an expression of a higher reality.

Here are few principles to consider:

  1. Self-Awareness: Knowing what I believe in and value, and what deeply motivates me
  2. Spontaneity: Living in and being responsive to the moment
  3. Being Vision- and Value-Led: Acting from principles and deep beliefs, and living accordingly
  4. Holism: Seeing larger patterns, relationships, and connections; having a sense of belonging
  5. Compassion: Having the quality of “feeling-with” and deep empathy
  6. Celebration of Diversity: Valuing other people for their differences, not despite them
  7. Field Independence: Standing against the crowd and having one’s own convictions
  8.  Humility: Having the sense of being a player in a larger drama, of one’s true place in the world
  9.  Tendency to Ask Fundamental “Why?” Questions: Needing to understand things and get to the bottom of them
  10. Ability to Reframe: Standing back from a situation or problem and seeing the bigger picture; seeing problems in a wider context
  11. Positive Use of Adversity: Learning and growing from mistakes, setbacks, and suffering
  12.  Sense of Vocation: Feeling called upon to serve, to give something back

How to Deal a Backstabber at Work

Writing inspiration

No matter how you build positive relationship with your co-workers someone is not happy about you.  Someone will one time make your life miserable. Backstabber do make ones life miserable if we let them.

To work in a prominent company who is leading on food service is by itself a privilege.  But,  someone missed me up that made me decide to resign my position as a restaurant manager.

A backstabber hit me hard that I was left deeply disturb and frustrated.

You know what this backstabber do?  She would speak ill things about me and destroyed my credibility to my area managers especially in their meetings broadcasting my failures.  The saddest part was that I learn all her rants about me from other fellow managers.  Take note everyday we talk, meet and discuss things with each other at the office in building the team strongly.  She was indeed a silent killer and best of her craft to destroy.

What if this happens to you or had already happened to you being back stab,  what will you do? How would you feel?

Often,  knowing that we were betrayed, we would rant,  shout and sometimes resort to physical revenge or set our mind of returning back the pain.

Here are the things you could do in surviving against backstabbers from pick lessons I’ve got with my own experience.

Listen.  Know why that person would intentionally destroy you.  Jot down all the negative stuff he or she will throw at you.  Often because of our compulsive thought and feelings for revenge and aggressiveness,  we fail to listen.

Feed Back. Look at yourself in front of the mirror and ask yourself what others dislikes about me.  Ask people around you in the workplace what they dislike and like about you.  If people have the same impression on you and if most of it are negative better change that attitude. It also widens the circle of people or co-worker who would wanted to make friends with you because of your openness for feedback to help you improve in your work at the workplace.

Confront the backstabber.  If you are a straightforward person, talk to the person one on one. Ask him or her why shes doing that to you. Ask him or her if you can work together without destroying its other.

Treat him like a passing wind.  This is fir people who are not courageous to confront directly the person or is afraid because the backstabber is superior in position than you. When the backstabber in the workplace comes or passes by ignore his or her presence.  And,  continue what you are doing.  Just be careful because the more you ignore them the more they wanted to be recognize and pissed you up.

 Think positive.  Sometimes our anger lingers long and when we see the person who back stab you, you become irritated.  So,  think funny thoughts or jokes to lighten your mind and lighten your work.

Spit it out.  Talk about why you are angry to the backstabber until you are satisfied.  Do this with your most trusted friends.  To loosen up negative thoughts and energy towards co-workers, a need to spit it out.


Take note.  Keeping a record of people who are backstabber can help you find strategies on how to relate with them individually.

All of this we hope that our workplace can become a team who aims for a progress of everyone working.  If we do cat fight, together we fail from our aims and desires of success in life.  It is because successful people have no time to destroy each other.  But they have the time to lend a hand to help other to succeed like them.  How do you deal with backstabber?

How to celebrate Labor Day!

Popped-up Notes

Hi there friends,

Today is labor day.

Sometimes we are exhausted of all the rallies that are  constantly happening during labor day commemoration. But, we respect them for whatever cause they want to express.

Can we not have a labor day of positive thought and events without rallies and pickets in the streets.

Here are the ways to celebrate it.

Treat yourself. If you have been working hard in your life or in the past days give yourself a reward for being a hardworking person. Nonetheless, it is our bodies that enables us to do such surmountable and great jobs. you can have a massage, watch a movie, go to a party, drink a beer with friend or go to a beach and indulge yourself.

Say Thank you. Sometimes we feel insecure in our work place because we less receive complements or positive feedback. Is it not much helpful if we give thanks to ourselves? Is it not self uplifting? there are time that we ourselves have to thank personally ourselves. And, say thank you to your house helper, to your house boy, to the gardener, to the deliveryman, to the newspaper boy, to your cook and everyone who made your life moving and living. A little words of kindness and thankfulness could make the whole world a better place.

Give gifts to people who influence and help you become better in your profession and as a person. Tangible things can be moving to people who unexpectedly received it. It also recognizes their person as a big influence in you life.

Pray for those who suffers injustice, maltreatment and discrimination in their jobs. There are instances that millions of workers suffers everyday yet continue on working for them to live. with our prayers, we express our solidarity with them.

Hope you learn something. Please leave comments or additional suggestions to improve our listing.

“As we celebrate Labor Day, we honor the men and women who fought tirelessly for workers’ rights, which are so critical to our strong and successful labor force.”

Elizabeth Esty

What is the Source of All Things? 

the thinkerThe 21st century is a golden age of scientific development in terms of scientific discoveries,  research, delicate technological advancement. It opens us to the possibility of life outside Earth.

Humans were able to reach the moon, orbit the planet or send robots to other neighboring planets to our planetary system.

As a result of this progress,  today the prevailing question is, “Where are we from?” Our search does not constraints us only on where we stand. It offers us the challenge to throw our vision to the vast horizon of the universe.

What is the source of all things? It is still a relevant question.

Greek civilization who thrive in the ancient times had also embarked to there quest in finding answers and explaining the nature of things. Somehow, we have to credit them for pioneering the quest for of what is the source of all things.

With experience and keen observation on mundane events and daily phenomenon, they arrived at something convincing.

Water. When we cry, water comes out.  When we sweat or perspire, water is released.  When we urinate, water is excreted.  We need water when we are thirsty.  We need water when we are dehydrated  Even our own blood is water that made us living beings.  Water when heated will evaporate but will become again as rain.

The Earth is itself filled with the abundance of water.  In Africa, where water is scarce, it is consider key element for survival.  To Filipinos water is important because they are frequently taking their bath. In almost facet of human life that pertains to survival and necessity, water is at the pedestal.

Thales believed that water is the source of all things.  But,  this answer is a breakthrough during Thales time and set the motion of our quest for science, knowledge and wisdom.  Just by observing the phenomenon on whats happening around him that lead him to conclude that water is the nature if everything.  His endeavor also served as the first attempt on explaining nature in a single principle which is called monism. But,  more than all of this,  Thales has made the first serve in history of philosophical exchanges.  He put a theory that others could examine and debate and provided rational grounds for speculations.

Though in the 21st century we do not consider water as the sole nature of things.  We, however,  consider it vital for survival and sustenance of the human race and of Earth in entirety.

Our Hearts are Deeply Disturb

Popped-up Notes

It was around 9:30 am in the morning while doing my office work,  my phone rang. I saw someone was calling me.  When I answered the phone, it was Amy, a staff in one of the Diocese I am overseeing on the program that aims to empower the farming communities.

What shocked me was her news about Kuya Willing.  He was killed by unidentified persons who pretended to be chicken feeds buyer. They stab kuya Wiling and still out of discontent shot him from the back.  He’s dead.  And,  its simply sad. Justice has not been served for him and could simply fall to be one of the numbers of killing for human rights advocates.

This happened last two months ago.

As I was scanning photos in my cellphone,   a photo of Kuya Wilings carcass laying on a steel table, his wounds were shown, appeared.

It is only now that his loss made me realize that his gone. That he will not be accompanying me on my visits around the communities we are helping.  That I will not see his welcoming face.

His death made me realize that to express real love to people we are serving around us,  it can be much of an expense at our end. An expense which could mean death of our life. Just as the Good Samaritan did in the Gospel.  He spent more and almost give everything comfortable for this robbed and wounded man.

It challenges us to connect to our fellow human being.  Interconnecting is really about self-forgetfulness.

It is a scary fact but for person who found their passion and who are ready to lay down their own lives for that cause and reach the level of self forgetfulness.  It is simply a given fact.  It is life or death. And,  there is no bargaining on this path.

It is only now that all this event make sense. To empower or compel farming communities to fight for their rights and speak out of it,  one has to lead an example or to its worst offer his own life as a sacrificing lamb.

We empower through education, building capacities,  activiites that will enrich the communities towards development.  But someones death can also empower people to stand together as one community and tell authorities we are concerned and our hearts are deeply disturb.

Philippines Passport Application 2017 Experience

Slide1Applying a Philippines passport is now easy for a Filipino citizen when all of the documents required are available.

Internet has enormous of information to offer. Yet, be critical on its content, legitimacy and truthfulness.

You can also contact directly the Department of Foreign Affairs if you have inquiries.

At the moment, I am done with my application and simply wait for the delivery of my passport.

Here are the tips of how did I process my passport.

Secure an appointment.

a) You have to set an appointment with the DFA online. You can choose if it is an individual or group appointment.

b) Fill all the necessary details of information it asks. Please be reminded that all information you supply to the form corresponds to the details seen in your other supporting documents.

c) Pick a convenient date. Hurry, ’cause slots are easily taken and reserved. Sometimes, it is just a fraction of a second that your slot is taken. It is like a first come, first serve rule. By the way, most schedules for the  month are taken. So, plan ahead of time.

d) Confirm your reservation. The first confirmation will be sent to your email. Then, you have to confirm it immediately. The second confirmation will be again sent to your email. This time it already have the link to the printable application form that you have filled in.

e) Do not wait for the list of requirements. It is already included at the last printable page of your appointment.

f) Get your requirements ready. Identification Card; Birth Certificate (PSA authenticated). Valid id’s like BIR, SSS, Drivers license, GSIS e-card,postal id, Unified Multi-purpose ID, voter’s id, Senior Citizens Id. For other supporting documents; transcript of records, NBI clearance, Police clearance, Barangay Clearance, voter’s certification, PSA marriage contract etc.

Slide2Processing day:

For me, I did my passport application in the City of Cagayan de Oro at the 3rd Floor of Ayala Centrio Mall. By the way, the mall opens at 10 am and no one is allowed to enter before the opening time. If your appointment is at 8 am in the morning do not worry, you are already reserved with your appointment. Personally, that time is more convenient because you will be the first to be served at if you are present there.

Double Check Your Documents. At least bring 2 valid ID’s. On my part I was ask four other supporting documents.

Photocopy all the requirements. On me, I did have two copies each documents. But, no need to worry because often times they have a xerox machine within the office. Of course, you have to pay. DFA Cagayan de Oro has xerox machine, so, no need to go out.

Be at the office at least 30 minutes before your appointment. Never consider yourself a VIP. There are also other applicants for passport processing scheduled same with your slot. So, better be advance on time if you want to finish early.

Present your appointment to the guards. No appointment, no entry. If you have your appointment, the guards will look at the time and will allow you to enter 30 minutes before the processing schedule. A reminder, the guards will get the appointment and you’ll just  have to wait on the processing section until your name will be called.

Inside the DFA. There are five sections inside. PROCESSING, in these section you will present all the documents you have with you. I mentioned that I was ask four other documents that includes my baptismal certificate or voter’s certification if you have. The staff at the  DFA are serious that they only smile very rarely on the side not. But, fast  in their work. CASHIER, she/he will call your name and you have to pay. If you want to receive your passport within 20 working day, pay Php. 1200.00. So, did I. If you want it in 30 working days, pay Php. 980.00. ENCODING, it is here that your bio-metrics will be taken. Just be patient because in this section you will wait much longer.  Check thoroughly all the data that will appear in your passport before signing for approval.  By the way, if you are a new applicant or have no other business, then, your done on the process of your passport. RELEASING, this section is for persons who are claiming their passports that had been processed already. AUTHENTICATION, I have no idea what’s in there.

After the encoding, I went to a counter where I pay for Php. 150.00 to deliver my passport thru LBC courier. And head back home to Surigao where I have to travel for 11 hours.

As I said, its time to wait.